Vance Hess

(1959 - 2011)

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A man should not leave this earth with unfinished business. He should live each day as if it was a pre-flight check. He should ask each morning, am I prepared to lift-off? Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider

This memorial website was created to remember our dearest Vance Hess who was born in Oregon on January 20, 1959 and passed away on February 6, 2011. You will live forever in our memories and hearts.

This site is dedicated to the memory of Vance Hess, beloved father, brother, uncle, friend, co-worker and much more.

Vance was born in Springfield, Oregon on January 20, 1959 and passed away on February 6, 2011. He lived a very short 52 years.

I dedicate this page to my brother because I always want there to be a place in this world that all of us can go and reflect on the happy moments we shared with Vance. This page is part of my healing process and I hope that it will bring to you a happieness or some peace in knowing that Vance blessed many with his presence. I will miss my brother forever and until we meet again I will always remember him as my big brother and for you, well you remember him as what he was to you.

This page is an open forum to blog about Vance, or read what I and others experienced or what Vance meant to us, or just come and reflect on what a great man he was. God took him too soon, for me that is, I am sure he took him right on time with His plan. I believe that my brother is with my other loved ones that left before him and I have to know in my heart that he is with my mom and grandma whom he and I are very connected with. Some day when it is my turn I only hope that we all will be reunited, and that they are waiting for me and won't let me get lost.

Anyone that knew Vance knew that he was a bit "high strung" and everything had to be done perfect. He demanded perfection from those he had influence over, he would always say if its worth doin do it right. He was a grand presence and when he was in the room you knew it. I didn't realize until the memorial service that the impact he had on peoples lives was so immense and so wonderful. I only took the time to selfishly know what he meant to me in my life.

Vance was my protector, he was 5 1/2 years older than me so he was truly my big brother, he had to screen all my boyfriends, friends, and anyone who came around me. He was very protective, even til the day he died. Jay (my husband) and I just had him and Nadine over a couple of weeks before his passing and he was so very happy and I can't tell you how that made me feel inside. I hadn't seen him that personnally happy in a very long time. I was so at peace knowing that he was that happy. He had been out to our moms burial site at Sutter Cemetary a couple of times recently just visiting and he had told me that he wanted to be buried by mom just like me, because I have the plot below hers. Vance's cremations will be buried in the same plot with mom, that gives me the greatest peace of all.

I want you to know the night my brother died was my anniversary (1 year), I remember getting the phone call from Tyler, my clarity of the whole thing after Tyler told me he was gone is pretty foggy, however I do remember going in to say goodbye and knowing in my heart that he hadn't left yet I knew he was still there waiting for us to come and say goodbye. I layed my head on his chest and felt that he was still warm and put my head up and shook him a little begging him to come back that I wasn't done and knowing in my heart that he wasn't ever coming back, so I gave in and said goodbye.

My brother played such a large role in my life that the things I do in memory of him are helping me get through the grieving process. I only have my dad left now alll the rest have left me. I will go on, yes, but not without heartache and sadness that I can't see him or call him on the phone, if only heaven had cell phones!

I told the story of the day I brought Wayne home from the hospital and Vance's reaction to this beautiful gift from God. My big, burly, rough, and tough brother didn't want to hold him, he said he might break him, I said Vance you can't break a baby! He was just sitting on the couch looking at me hold Wayne and I just went over to him and gave him Wayne, I left him no choice but to hold him, it was so funny, he looked so awkward holding him his one elbow was up in the air and it was just not a natural hold. He wiggled around (I have the picture here on the web page) until he could get a real good close up look at him and Vance looked up at me with a tear rolling down his cheek and said, Dana he is so beautiful, I love him, how can I love someone who is only 2 days old into my life. I said Vance he is your nephew, he will need you all his life just like I do, he is going to count on you to be there for him, and I can't think of a better person for that job. Vance smiled and said well I think hes gonna be one cool dude and don't worry Dana, I will protect him too.

I plan on coming here to write and remember my brother and encourage anyone and everyone to do the same. I will undoubtably be here to write often. Those of you who know me know that I am a writer, I have so many thoughts all the time that my outlet is writing and talking. I am hoping to be able to heal a little more every time I come here and hope the same for you. Thank you for coming and enjoy the stories, please write your own so I can learn other things about my brother that I didn't know and enjoy those memories with you.

The Yuba College Girls Basketball Coach announced that starting next year there will be a Memorial Tournament in honor of Vance annually. So be sure you keep an eye out for that. The coaches name is Steve.

I sent my dad back off to Arizona where he lives with a hole in his heart having to let go and face losing his son. My dad and Vance were so close and I can't begin to imagine how he is feeling or how he will face the days to come. I wish I could send him the strength he needs to move forward but I know my dad and he will be ok and the hurt will remain but it will be less painful, at least that's what they tell me. I know one thing Vance's passing brought my dad and I to a place we haven't been in many years, that's talking. To you dad, I love you! I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Grandma tried to explain to me the feeling of losing a child and I just can't comprehend, but know in your heart dad that Vance loved you, he respected you, and by damn you were his dad and that was that. Well dad I will never be able to fill that hole in your heart but we can at least hold on to our father-daughter realationship and comfort each other because well dad its you and me. I love you Dad and I know we will mourn in our own way but we can do it together.

To all Vance's friends and extended family please participate in this web page, feel free to contact me, I have put my contact information here, and come back often to remember Vance and I will add thoughts as often as I need to which you will have fun with because I'm going to start putting funny stories and fun filled memories, the sadness has to subside.

Have a good time here, thank you for appreciating my brother, and know in your heart Vance was a good man, but more that that he was a good friend.

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ùltimos Memoriais

Dana Jensen (Hess)

Hey Big Bro ...was just sittin here at home listening to music that I know you would give me a funny look and say "Dana, what's wrong with you!" We had such different tastes in everything, but we made a perfect pair as brother and sister. You know as a big brother you always made sure I was safe and that I was "doing ok" even if it was from the back row. Well now you have a birds eye view and that's cheating. You always cheated and could get away with it cuz you were bigger than me, but mom would catch you sometimes and ha ha you would get in big trouble like the time when we lived in Auburn in that great big house that was 2 stories and gray and scary, and you were always supposed to be home before me but this one day I couldn't find you so I just figured after a while that you stayed after school so I was looking for a snack and I heard a ghostly sound calling my name, I called mom at work and she was working in Sacramento and I was so scared then the noises came from under the kitchen window which was right next to the door into the kitchen which was all glass and I threw the first thing I could grab which was a pan and it went right through the glass and I though oh boy was I in trouble but oh no u were the one that got into trouble. I laughed and laughed cuz you really scared me you already knew I hated that house it was so scary oh and that was the house that you shot me in the but with a beebee gun boy did you get in trouble for that too! Wel Vance I miss you today more than yesterday, I'm having a terrible time figuring out why certain things are or are not happening, I am really quite beside myself, but I'm thinking I can do this and I can be the strong one and find out how to fix it, you need to be at peace, laid with mom, and finally not have to be all mixed up and sad and all that yucky stuff, you need to be laiid to rest and be at peace, maybe then I will have some closure but now I feel like your still here, even though I can't call you, I talk and talk and hope that you hear, I'm sorry I'm not stronger and haven't been able to step up and get it handled but I just don't know if I can, but I can promise you that I will figure out a way, some how, some way, you will be laid to rest and be able to have peace finally. I love you Vance please send me some of your strength, I feel like I'm melting into the ground.

Nadine Neis

TENDER MOMENTS

Tired of being alone,
Time no longer a friend.
Was it a possibility,
To put life back on the mend?

We will introduce ourselves,
With a quick hello, how do you do,
We’ll take a chance,
On maybe letting go of being blue.

An innocent dinner,
A new friendship to explore,
Who could have known,
That there would be so much more.

We enjoyed each other,
As tender moments rolled on by,
And soon on each other,
We began to rely.

Our hearts met head on,
That one fateful day,
We just never would see life again,
The very same way.

Tender moments came and went,
As time moved through our lives,
But with each passing moment,
Vance always held surprise.

I loved him more,
With each breath that he would take,
He was the man,
For whom my heart had always ached.

Our world began to form anew
Right before our very eyes,
We had both realized,
That our hearts had finally found the prize.

So many new tender moments,
To continue and form together,
Hugs from the rear of the motorcycle,
Vance said life didn’t get much better.

My prince at last I’d found you,
I knew God blessed me with a treasure,
All of the dreams and plans we shared,
Stopped in a tender moment of pleasure.

You’ve left me here by myself,
Lost without your touch,
But assured I am and this I know,
That you knew I loved you so very much,

I long for the day that we will,
Again be together,
No more worries or heartaches,
Just eternity in one another’s arms forever.

Nadine Neis

Vance from the moment you left, you took my heart with you. When we shared that we were each other's for the rest of time, I meant every word I said. I am your "Dean". Though you're not here, I remain your Dean. I hope by now that you've met my mom and dad and my big brother and grandma. You all have left gapping holes in my heart and my life. I know that God has his reasons for chosing who and when, but I just wish it didn't hurt so bad. You had brought such joy into my life. I was so broken after losing my mom. This was the first Christmas I decorated or celebrated since her passing. You made me feel alive again. You were so special, genuine, tender, caring and sincere. I wanted to do so much to show you how much I loved you. You left me to soon. I had just gotten started. You were the man that I had searched for my whole life. We were the perfect fit. We balanced each other so beautifully. How could you be so perfect for me? I think it was just because you were just perfect. You were so "pragmatic" and I was always emotional. I loved pestering you with all my crazy superfluous stuff! I miss you Sweetheart, I love you for all time.

Dana Jensen (Hess)

I think I must have been 10 or 11 and my dad travelled much of the time so he was gone a lot of the time during the week. I remember he usually had a work vehicle that was supplied by his employer and most of the time when he travelled he too this vehicle. One time I remember his took a plane somewhere or for some reason he had left the work truck at home, it was a small pickup with a stick shift. Well Vance deciided that he would be cool and get the keys and take off and drive it. I remember acting like a pesky little sister and saying your gonna get in trouble, dads gonna know, and a bunch of other stuff, well he didn't listen of course and he went joy riding in dads work truck and wrecked it, I laughed and laughed cuz he thought he was just too cool and there was no way of getting out of that one, boy was dad mad, whew!

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